Godfather Of The Rings
by sonymagic2
Summary: The Hobbit God Farther Gandalf, is plotting to get the ring so he can take out all gangs thought out Middleearth but will agent Gollum be able to stop him in time? a complete piss taker but a good laugh please RR!
1. meet the Godfather

I do not own any of the charters from Lord Of The Rings

This is 'Godfather of the rings!'. I just came up with this when I was watching 'Spaceballs', I know it has nothing to do with Lord of the rings but hey, I'm odd. Please read and review telling me what you think. I know this chapter is short but it's just a taste of what it's going to be like because I'm not sure if this is a good idea or not.

In a hut in the middle of the Hobbit village, lay a small hut that was just slightly taller than the rest of the hut's that sat in the village. What made this hut so unique was not the fact that it was tall, but the reason why it was so tall. To anyone who even noticed would think that it was nothing but for those who we're looking for a certain someone, would know strait away, that this hut was tall because a certain Wizard lived there. The Hobbit God Farther in fact. The most notorious villain known and one of the most powerful too. Also known as Gandalf the Great, the Hobbit God Farther sat at his wooden desk in the tall hut as a small Hobbit walked in.

"God Farther," the Hobbit said in a quiet voice. "we have found the location of the great ring," he said as the Hobbit God Farther raised his head.

"yes!" he hissed standing up. "at last, I, the great Hobbit God Farther, Gandalf, will have the ring! Not even the great Agent Gollum will be able to stop me from beating Middle-earth," he said loudly with a evil laugh.

Outside, above the hobbit hut, was a small figure hidden in a large trench coat. the figure knelled on top of the hut looking in a small opening, listening to the conversation the Hobbit and Wizard was having.

"wanna bet," it said in a squeaky voice as it watched. "what's that my precious?" he said taking a beer can from his pocket and putting it close to his ear. "yes, we will put a stop to the Hobbit God Farther once and for all, but first, we must get that ring so we have enough evidence to put him away for good," the small brown creature in the trench coat said putting the beer can back in it's pocket said before slowly making it's way of the roof of the hut.

What you think? No, don't tell me! This chapter is short and to the point. I just want to see if you guys think this is a good idea. Review and tell me please because I don't want to carry on with this if you don't think it's good or worth anyone's time. I'm only going to carry on with it if I get at lest one review so seriously, tell me what you think. 


	2. getting some back up

I don't own Lord of the rings.

Okay, I decided to carry on with this story a little as I came up with a few more ideas but I would still love to know if you guys like it so please R+R. well here goes, enjoy!

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Aragorn sat on a log in his bright pink spandex and lime green disco shirt, swinging his sword by the helm. He was board. With all his brilliant talents, he was soon the best and given the title of the 'best sexy, disco, swords man ever to live'. He had never been beaten on the battle field or the disco floor. The thing was, that he needed excitement but there was non. There was nothing to do and it had been like that for a while now. No beautiful madden to save, no great creature to slay, no authorities to run from and no decent discos to crash. The horse at his side that was tied to a tree was begin to grow restless as it snorted and violently pull on it's ropes. This got Aragorn's attention as he looked up and then checked his surroundings.

"who's there?" he demanded, preparing himself with his sword.

"calm down, it is me!" a squeaky voice said from the bushes as the small figure in a trench coat made himself known.

"ow, it's you Squeak," Aragorn said lowering his weapon. "what do you want?" he asked.

"what indeed," he said rubbing his hands together and giving a small chuckle as Aragorn looked at him and tilted his head to the side.

"are you pissed again?" Aragorn asked as agent Gollum looked up at him.

"no!" he squealed raising his hands in the air in defence as beer cans fell out of the trench coat. "he he. I can explain that," Gollum said getting slightly embarrassed.

"what ever. What are you doing here anyway? I told you that I don't want anything to do with your drunk ass self!" Aragorn said angrily as he eyed the small creature.

"he's looking for the Ring," agent Gollum simply said as Aragorn eyes widened.

"what? You mean, he knows where it is?" Aragorn asked shocked. Gollum simply nodded. "and I'm guessing that you want my help?" Aragorn asked looking at Gollum as he nodded again.

"you know what will happen if he finds it," Gollum said as Aragorn turned the opposite way. "I need you on this one," Gollum pleaded.

"your going to need more than just a sexy disco swords man to take on the Hobbit Godfather," Aragorn said thinking and showing of his disco moves.

"you have someone in mind?" Agent Gollum asked in hope.

There was a short pause as Agent Gollum started at the tall swords man and Aragorn simply began to think of his options. "leave it to me to find men brave and strong enough to help. You find the location of the ring and keep it as safe as you can," Aragorn said turning to face Gollum.

"Hey! I give the orders round here!" Gollum said in anger. "I want you to go get some recruits while I find the location of the ring and keep it as safe as possible," Gollum said as Aragorn eyed the small creature. "we will triumphant, is that not right my precious?" Gollum said picking up a crushed beer can and holding it up to his face while he creepily walked into the bushes and out of Aragorn's sight.

"that little man need's help… maybe I can get him a spot in the Middle-earth Rehab centre," Aragorn said thinking to himself as he prepared his steed for the journey.

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Fare, fare, fare away, in a Elf village just two miles away, a young, strapping man stood as his hair blew in the wind. He was looking out of a cabin window with one of the larges smiles plastered on his face. His name, Legolas. He was the hart throb of every girl in his village as also rage of every boyfriend who's girlfriends hart were taken. He carried on staring out side.

"wow, today is one of the best days I think will come!" he said cheerfully.

"ah!" came from with in the cabin. "come back to bed you over sized pointy eared freak!" a deep and strong voice said within.

"ow, but Gimli my love, it's such a beautiful day out today!" Legolas said smiling to the large Dwarf.

That's right, the hart throb of all the Elfets in the village was gay, and not just gay, but Gwarf (Gay with a Dwarf). This only made all the boyfriends even more annoyed as they we're being out done by a gay. Gimli on the over hand was a walking flea bag who liked having it up the arse but didn't see himself as gay. He was strong, powerful and extremely smelly but could soon take someone out with his mighty axe if he need to.

"what ever you stupid nature freak. Come suck my cock before breakfast would you? I have a rod the size of new jersey from thinking about that goat we ate," Gimli said as Legolas raised a eye brow then shrugged and walked towards him.

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